Holy Underwear

(seeing Jesus, sitting on a a rock, turning something over in His hands)

Me: Hi Lord, what are you doing?

God: I am making a garment for you.

Me: What kind of garment?

God: It's a tunic. (holds it up for me to see. I see two broad red stripes running down the front.)

Me: What is it for?

God: It is for you to put on. Why am I making it for you? It is an undergarment, a foundation of sorts.

Me: Lord, what does it mean?

God: Well, since you have already googled it, you already know what tunics were for and who wore them. Almost everyone back in My day wore them, I wore one. Yours has red on the front, and is a legionnaire's tunic. I am fitting you for battle, and yes it is spiritual battle.

Me: Who will I be fighting?

God: There is only one enemy, the enemy is he who sets himself against Me, and although he has several parts, he is the only enemy.

Me: Okay, but to what end must I fight? I don't really understand what is going on or what You are saying is about to happen.

God: Patrick, kings and priests have the same role, just on different fronts. You are both, as I have shown you in the past. I am fitting you for the role you will be given in My kingdom. that role requires you to battle against the enemy whether on a fleshly or spiritual front. This tunic is the beginning of the garments, the first to be put on, and worn closest to your body. Without this foundation, no other armor can be worn. The tunic is intimacy and is the essential garment. Without it, everything else you put on will become uncomfortable and an annoyance to you. Do you understand?

Me: I think so, but I will have to keep thinking about it. The foundation for everything You have for me comes from our intimacy, right?

God: Yes, and intimacy with Me makes your battle array comfortable and bearable.

Me: Lord, what about skill? I really don't know anything about doing battle.

God: Intimacy is the key for your ability to be armed and stand against the enemy, but I AM the Lord of Hosts and I will go before you in battle.

Me: Okay. Lord, this all seems strange to me, but I will trust You. Is there something else You want to say to me?

God: Be free.

Me: Free from what?

God: Free from the mindsets that keep you captive to the flesh. I have set you free, be free. How can you go about My business being bound to other things? Stop looking behind you thinking that the past will catch up to you and bind you again. I have all authority, and I have set you free.

Me: Lord, when will I put on the tunic?

God: When you are ready.

Me: I am ready, Lord. Intimacy is what I have always wanted, but I never thought I could have it with You.

God: Patrick, it's okay. Nothing is lost. In all this time, I have been preparing you for this garment, and you will wear it for the rest of your life. Patrick, you are My friend, with whom I will share My secrets, to whom I will give gifts, and in whom I take great pleasure. Stand up, receive your tunic. I will never keep My voice from you. Remember always, through Me you will always be granted access.

A great commission...

Me: Lord, what is on Your mind today?

God: Get up, go back into the house.

Me: Why? It's so pretty out.

God: There is something I want to show you there.

- - - - - travel time - - - - -

Me: Okay, Lord. What do you want to show me?

God: Look to your right. (I see my Bible) Open it to Psalm 13, and read it.

 ¹ How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?
         How long will You hide Your face from me?
 ² How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
         Having sorrow in my heart daily?
         How long will my enemy be exalted over me?
        
 ³ Consider and hear me, O LORD my God;
         Enlighten my eyes,
         Lest I sleep the sleep of death;
 ⁴ Lest my enemy say,
         “I have prevailed against him”;
         Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
        
 ⁵ But I have trusted in Your mercy;
         My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
 ⁶ I will sing to the LORD,
         Because He has dealt bountifully with me. (Psalm 13, New King James Version)

God: Did you see it?

Me: You mean the last line? That is what jumped out.

God: Write me a song.

Me: What do you want it to be about?

God: Patrick, if I tell you what I want it to be about, it takes all the enjoyment out of it for Me. Make it up. Draw from the well inside of you.

Me: Do You just want lyrics, or do You want the music as well?

God: Start with the lyrics, the music will flow from them. Go get your song journal that you never use.

Me: Ha! Okay, Lord.

You saw me in the crowd
You singled me out
How could I be
The apple of your eye
But when I catch your gaze
I come alive

You seem so far away
Like I cannot find the way
How could you want
to be with me
But when you come near
I lose all fear

And I will look into Your eyes
And know you've paid the price
I will sing to You
'Cause you've been good to me

Our fathers' garments

Me: Good morning, Lord. What's the topic for today?

God: Why do I have to do all the talking? What do you have to say to Me?

Me: As if You didn't know...

Lord, show me something new about You. Show me how to "look into Your eyes." I can't imagine what Your face looks like, and it's hard to visualize looking into Your eyes.

God: Go to a mirror. Look into your own and tell Me what you see.

Me: I see myself. At first I see just my own face. But then, the image of me with a crown popped into my head. I was crowned, but hanging my head. Then I saw myself again, still crowned, but this time with a robe. I was looking at the stains on it, and wondering how I came to be wearing it, and about the stains themselves.

I looked like a kid dressed up in his father's clothes. Everything was way too big for me. What does it mean, Lord?

God: Patrick, boys will often go into their fathers' things and pull out their old uniforms, put them on and look into the mirror. What do they look at? They look for some resemblance between themselves and their the hero in their house, their father. Boys dress up like their fathers and look into mirrors so that they can see their fathers in themselves, wanting to believe that they are as brave, as strong, as worthy of honor that their fathers were.

They look at military medals, tour ribbons, and all sorts of brass to find out more about the father they know, what he went through, the things he saw, the friends he made and lost, the sacrifices they all made. When a boy begins to discover these things, he appreciates and loves his father even more, wanting even more to become like him.

You did this with your fathers, and now is the time when you will do the same with Me. You will put on My garments and look for Me in yourself, and you will discover more about Me, the price I paid, the things I did, and you will fall in love with Me again and again as you see who I AM.

I give you permission to use your imagination to do this. Ask Me what you want to know about.

Field of Dreams

Me: Lord, what do You have to say to me today?

God: Patrick, you are like a mixed metaphor.

Me: What do You mean?

God: Double-minded. You start out after Me, and get sidetracked by doing things outside of Me, and you end up in conflict.

Me: Like what, Lord?

God: Like writing. It is okay for you to write to make money. But don't forget the Spirit inside of You is the well of living water. Draw from that well. You must come to Me and drink, seek Me first, and all else will be given to you.

Me: So, Lord, how should I approach writing, and what would You like me to write about?

God: Start with Me. Spend time with Me, and you will have plenty to ponder. The Spirit will reveal things for you to write in your meditation.

Me: What about writing for money?

God: If you write it, people will read it. But if you focus on trying to make money by writing, you will end up in conflict, because you will be focused on the wrong thing. In Field of Dreams, Ray did not build the field to make money. He built it in obedience to the Voice, and because he had the vision to see it. His vision was good, and people were drawn to the final product, some because the product was good, others did not know what drew them to it. Either way, they came. His investment of obedience fed the hope of those drawn as well as fed Ray's family and saved the farm. Go watch the movie and write your reflections.

Me: Lord, what about paying my bills? What about getting back into selling office furniture? How should I approach that?

God: That will not last long.

Me: Lord, can You please confirm that to me?

God: Patrick, your passion confirms it. Where your treasure is, there is your heart. Are you a furniture salesman or a seeker of My face? Again, seek Me first. I know to the penny how much you need and if you trust Me with your finances, you will see miracles. Be encouraged by your faith and stop doubting. Your time to invest in the kingdom is now and if you sew sparingly, you will reap sparingly.

Patrick, you will not stop hearing Me say this: LOOK INTO MY EYES

Have I not brought you here? Have I not been faithful to tend to your needs despite yourself? When will you taste and see that I AM good? You will profit more from your time with Me than with any business idea or striving to make money. Go out and seek Me. Change your mind and look through spiritual eyes at the people and places around you. Ask Me, and I will reveal the mysteries of the Kingdom to you. I have chosen you for this, because this is what delights you. You are My son, and I am charging you to do My business. You are in training. Hold on to Me, I will not disappoint you, and the things I give you are better than money. Go out, find Field of Dreams and ask Me about it. Then, write.



Me: Well, Lord...I watched it.

God: Tell me what you thought.

Me: I found myself crying throughout the movie, and I didn't know what exactly I was crying about. I love that movie. I love the fact that it starts out with Ray saying that he had never done anything "crazy" until he heard the Voice. I loved the way his wife encouraged him, even though she did not know what was going on. She believed in him, and had faith in him. I love the way he got angry with the ambiguity in the Voice. It forced him to act by faith in what he felt in his heart. I loved the fact that deep down, he was hiding the question "What's in it for me?"

I identified a lot with Ray. I feel like I am embarking on a crazy journey that is threatening to impair us financially. It makes no sense to me, but it seems like despite the threat, the journey is necessary to finding the wholeness of soul that I want so badly...it sheds light on the question I asked you about the scripture "My burden is light" being translated as "wholesome." So, now what?

God: Go and write.

Handling Rejection

God: Read Acts 13.

Me: What am I looking for?

God: It will find you. Just go read it.

Click here to read Acts 13

Me: Ok Lord, I have read it.

God: Tell me what you noticed in the story.

Me: I noticed that as Paul was teaching, the Jews in authority did not necessarily reject the message at first, but when they saw the crowds of people hungry for more, they were jealous. They were jealous of the attention Paul and Barnabus received. They did not begin contradicting the message until after Paul had the people's attention.

I also thought the words "continually filled" with the Holy Spirit in the last verse were interesting.

God: Will you be able to handle rejection like Paul? He "shook off" the dust from his feet and moved on and kept preaching.

Me: I would like to say yes, Lord. But, I really don't know. I tend to take things fairly personally, and shaking it off isn't always easy for me, even when I know that it isn't something on which I should dwell or that the source of rejection is unimportant to me. Why do I do that?

God: Paul knew what he was meant for, I sent him, and he went confidently knowing that he would face hardship. He was confident because he knew Me. The strength he displayed in trials was from knowing Me. He had found My approval, My favor, My grace, and he accepted it as truth. To him, this truth was more real than gravity.

Patrick, do not seek approval from men. Men can become jealous, envious or covetous very quickly without fully knowing it, when they themselves seek the favor and approval from men.

Me: Lord, why do we need approval?

God: Men's approval is a substitute for the salvation found in the depths of My love. Men seek fame and popularity to find worth, but it is a treacherous place to invest self-esteem, because the opinions of men are so easily swayed. The price I paid for you is the only value that will never change.

Me: How do I put my trust in the value you have declared? Why do I continue looking to others for approval?

God: Look into My eyes.

What is Good?

God: Patrick, what if I told you that I am good?

Me: Lord, I know You are good.

God: But what if I told you that I REALLY AM good, the source of all good.

Me: Well, what is "good?"

God: That's a good question.

Me: Funny, Lord.

God: Good is what gives and sustains true life. Patrick, I love that you ask questions. Be sure that you do not let your questions hinder you.

Me: How do they hinder me?

God: If you do not receive an answer to your question, do not stop there. Keep seeking Me for Me, not for answers to your questions. Remember, I AM the prize. I AM good. The truth you want will be revealed in due course as you get to know and become more like Me. Be careful that your questions do not become the seeds of doubt. Trust in My goodness, my nature to give and sustain true life founded in love.

Me: Lord, why are You telling me this now?

God: Patrick, I am good. There are questions that can be asked which shed doubt on the truth of My goodness. Look instead at the evidence of Me. Remember, even My physical death is good, necessary to sustain life, to preserve relationship with the Father. I am good, but not always do I make sense according to what is generally thought of as good. Change your perspective about our life according to this. I do not work all things for your comfort, but for your good. I promise to be the source of life, to sustain your life, to be a good father to you. I love you.

Me: I love You Lord. Thank you.