Productive vs. Creative

P: Morning Papa.

G: Hey buddy. What are you going to do today?

P: Funny, I was going to ask you that. What would you like to say to me today? What would you like me to do today?

G: Patrick, be creative. That is what I want you to do today. I have given you plenty to think about in order for you to use your time creatively. I don’t have a single specific task that I am going to tell you to do, because I want you to learn to be creative, in everything and at all times. This is extremely important. This is not about productivity, it is about creativity, the kind of creativity that reflects Me. It is not about My glory. I am glorious already. It is about you coming into a place where you reflect that glory in the earth, not for your benefit, not for my benefit, but for the benefit of those who do not know Me. How can you be hidden and display my glory?

P: Lord, I do understand what you are telling me. I have tried writing on a blog, I have tried writing in a book, and they both feel stale. I feel like I get started and stall out. I don’t know how to keep going and not hit a wall.

L: Don’t avoid the wall, break through it. Hit it full force and watch it crumble as you pound against it. That is creativity, to go beyond the possibility you perceive. Trusting in Me for your outcome, you will break through. Come on, Patrick, you CAN do this. You may not always want to do it, I understand. Feeling conflicted is natural, I understand that, I really do. But you must pass through it to the other side. If you let it stop you in your tracks, you will never be able to overcome the struggles that life will bring.

P: OK, so you want me to be creative in everything. Writing, living, working, talking, etc. that seems really hard and a lot to take on. We are creatures of habit. how do I break the habits that have become the structural framework of my lifestyle?

L: Little by little. Start somewhere and keep finding more habits to break, until approaching life creatively is your main habit. That’s what I am after. Change your perspective about your life, because your perspective right now is to see your life as inferior to one that you know is out there waiting for you. My perspective is that you have a life you are not fulfilling because you are looking at it upside down. Do not get me wrong, Patrick. You are not failing. You are learning. Just as a child is not born spouting Shakespeare, wisdom comes at the price of a long life of learning from mistakes. Be willing to allow them show you where there is room for correction.

P: What if I cannot see a situation creatively?

L: What do you think this whole conversation is? I see every situation with a creative eye. If you don’t see it, ask Me. That is the whole point. That is why you have learned the skill of journaling, to learn to actively come to Me and be able to get answers when you do not see them. Buddy, this is exciting! You have smelled the potential in your own life, and you are climbing to it. I will show you the next steps when you need it. Just keep climbing. If you don’t know how, I will show you, it is that simple.

P: Wow, I guess the whole habit of living independently is really strong. Ok, Lord, I get it. Thank you for showing me. So today’s goal is to be creative. I still don’t ...

L: Patrick, creativity is not a goal. It is a method. The goal is to display My love and glory in all that you do so that the world would know Me.

P: OK. Man, life seems hard.

L: Patrick, it is if you take this as an assignment to go be productive. It is when you are creative that this will change. Productivity and creativity are related but different. If you set out merely to be productive, it will be a task, a burden of labor. Being creative is not a task, it is a relationship with the creation that connects Me to it through your expression of Me. It is love, it is a conversation of hope, it is a story of grace and mercy and it is miraculous power. I did not ask you to be productive today, I asked you to be creative. OK?

P: Okay, Lord.

Going deeper

P: Good morning Lord.

J: Patrick, never hesitate to come simply as a friend. The Father is glorious, and the presence of Him is overwhelming and awesome. But you can always come to me (Jesus) as a friend comes to another friend. There will be a time for being overtaken by glory and power and light, but everyday I am here, and I want to spend time with you.

P: Jesus, I know you are all three the same, and different. But when do I go to the Father, and when do I go to the Holy Spirit? I don’t quite seem to understand any of this.

J: It is by the Holy Spirit that you come to me. It is by Him that you go to the Father or hear the Father’s voice, and by HIm that you heal, pray, prophesy. He knows your heart, and He knows your thoughts. When you pray in tongues, you go to him, and when you do any of this you are cooperating with Him. When you remember to do so, tell him whatever it is you would like to tell him, what you would like to do, just tell Him.

As for the Father, it is because of what I did, that you have direct access to Him. You can go to the foot of His throne anytime you want. Would you like to go now?

P: Yes, but I don’t know how.

J: Actually, you do. You present your friends and people you do not know to Me all the time, asking Me to show you something for them, or asking me to heal them. I do the same for you. Close your eyes, and allow your imagination to take you there. I am with you, let’s try it out.

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P: Lord, what do you have to say to me this morning?

J: Do you want to get in on some of the experimental faith stuff?

P: Yes, I do. There is nothing I want more than to have the heart like David, that sees a giant taunting Israel and He goes out with a sling and kills Him because He knows You are God. I am more of the kind of guy that sees a giant and thinks about the best way to kill him, and I look at all the weapons I have, try to figure out which has the most giant killing potential, how well I can use it, etc. I freeze up in analysis, and I don’t get stuff done all the time.

J: Patrick, you are indeed an analyst. But that does not mean that you do not get things done, and it definitely does not mean that you do not have faith. I want you to know that for an analyst you also step out from the heart more than you know. You have learned to go with gut feelings, sometimes to your benefit, sometimes not. When you turn that around and use your faith with it, I will not be proven a liar. Use your faith. I want you to come up with your own challenges. Find the things which are difficult for you, and we will work them out together. You pick the task, step out, and I will help you complete it.

P: Lord, that scares me a lot, actually.

J: Good, it should. Faith is powerful and it is dangerous. But used well, it is the most wonderful gift I have given you, because it really can move mountains.

P: Lord, how do I know when I do and do not have faith for something?

J: Patrick, if you can imagine it, you have faith for it. The father first imagined in His heart who you would be. Then he made you. The process of faith is similar. There is faith and trust, and they are connected. Go through the scripture and look at faith, see how it works and see how it is used. Take a close look at the way I walked in it, and whether it was different than the way the hall of famers walked in it.

P: OK, Lord. I am scared and excited and giddy, all at once.

J: Sounds like you are going on an adventure, doesn’t it.

P: Yes. Help me get to a place where I can rest in it.

J: Maybe later. Right now, lets get faith into you, and watch the other stuff come fleeing out.

P: Ugh. I don’t think I want to see that.

J: Maybe not, but I do. Patrick, you are looking for the next “level.” You are looking for the life changing things, the world changing walk. This is it, if you can stomach it. I know you really do want it, and I know you are willing, just stick with Me closely. I have not let you down yet, and I never will. Keep on stepping, son. I am with You.

P: Good morning, Jesus.

G: Hey there, my friend. Do you know why the birds are singing?

P: Um. Because they can? Is this a trick question?

G: My questions are always trick questions. Or had you not realized that yet.

P: Yes, I had noticed.

G: Patrick, the birds sing because I put a song in them.

P: Well, ok, then. That’s a weird answer, rather obvious, if you ask me. So why are you asking me that?

G: What did I put in you?

P: Sheesh. You are hard to track this morning, Lord. What did you put in me? Yourself? Life everlasting? I am not sure.

G: No, those are the right answers. What does that sound like?

P: I have no idea, Lord. You are going to have to help me out here. This sounds really weird.

G: Patrick, you just heard in church a few weeks ago that you have a “sound.” You also had a dream about this a few years back. What does it sound like?

P: No, I understand that, but it is hard to explain what something sounds like, especially when you start waxing metaphorical on me. I don’t know what my sound is, and I sure don’t know what it sounds like if I don’t know what it is. I am really uncomfortable with this.

G: That’s fine. Go get you guitar, and play for 10 minutes and come back.

P: Sigh. Ok.

----10 minutes later----

P: Well? I played for a while.

G: Had you ever played that before?

P: I had played the chords before, but not in that progression, and I had never heard that melody before.

G: The birds are singing again. Birds are not creative. You are. The song you just played was nice, and there was passion in it. Birds do not have that. What did your song sound like?

P: Well, it didn’t have words, but it sounded like a tune that someone would sing about wanting something.

G: And what do you want?

P: I was thinking about You, but I couldn’t come up with any words. All I could do was to “ba, ba, ba” the tune. I suppose thinking of You was what made it sound like that. So, I guess in my heart, I am wanting You.

G: Ok. You are starting to get the hang of this. So, let’s go back to the original questions. What did I put in you?

P: Yourself, life everlasting...

G: What does that sound like?

P: A song? I still don’t know.

G: You were thinking of me when you played just now, and you said it sounded like desire. So, when you allowed your heart to flow, desire came out. Whether I was the center or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is that creativity flows from the heart, through the medium of choice. Just now it was the guitar, other times through writing, and then again other times it is through relationship with people. Mankind is an instrument that makes a sound, and just like a guitar, man can be strummed. You can strum your own heart, and you can strum the hearts of other people. Are you following me now?

P: I don’t know, you confused me with the whole birds bit.

G: When birds sing, they call to each other. When a bird hears a song, it sing back. But birds do not create new songs. Man does. When man hears a tune that strums his heartstrings, it is in him to respond, just like a bird. The difference is that man can respond with a personal song, a new song. When a person comes to know me, what happens inside of them?

P: Like your word says, out of them flows a river of living water.

G: Right, so what do rivers of living water sound like?

P: Like a lot of things, how can I start to describe it? I would say that the obvious answer would be that it sounds like You, but who really knows what You sound like? All I can answer is that you are love, so, rivers of living water must sound like love. But then again, we are talking in metaphors, and none of this makes clear practical sense.

G: That’s because it doesn’t make sense to the flesh. The flesh is self serving, and love is not. That is why it flows from the heart, not the flesh. I have given you a new heart. Let it flow. You are second guessing it all the time, because you are making mistakes and saying or doing things that are not necessarily perfect. When you first picked up your guitar, you started by playing something that you had known how to play from practice, until your heart engaged in the process, and a song emerged on your lips. Do you think that I care that your flesh will want to get in the way of letting your heart flow? When you sit down to write, your flesh will do what it is trained to do: analyze, criticize, and theorize. There will come a time, when you can sit, and flow without the flesh being a part of your process. Your flesh is like the bird. It will sing uncreative sounds and people will respond with uncreative sounds. Your heart is like Me. It will sing, and strum the heartstrings of other people, and they will respond with a new creative song, that will in turn foment the creative song in other people. Have you understood?

P: Again, I think so. But it still seems like a new convoluted way of telling me what you have been telling me for a while now.

G: It is what I have been telling you, and I will tell you until it overtakes the part of you that doesn’t want to believe it. I will use every example on earth in which I have displayed this principle, if that is what it takes, but this is what you are to build upon. This is your foundation. I want you to start here.

P: OK. So love is something that causes a creative reaction in another person?

G: Bingo. That is what I wanted to hear you say. Just as when you thought of me when you played, you were flowing with desire, because I love you, and you want more of it, you want more of Me, and the song that came out was new. I love you, and that caused a reaction in you that was creative and new. The next part of the process is that your reaction to my love touches another person and causes a similarly creative reaction in them and so on.

P: Okay, Lord, I think I get it. I think what I have been forgetting is that my response to Your love is the source of me “flowing in the Spirit.” Am I right?

G: There you go, son. You got it. This is why I want you to start with Me before you do anything else. It makes the anything else part much more fluid. Ok, now get to work.

Wanting

Me: Good morning Lord.

God: Hey Patrick. It is good to hear from you.

Me: Well, it has been a very interesting couple weeks. I have to say that. Lord, what would you say to me today?

God: Patrick, you are going to burn out.

Me: Burn out?

God: You are going to burn out. And I can’t wait.

Me: I don’t understand.

God: You flicker now and again, but I am waiting for the time that you burn out for good. You are burning to have things, to do things, to see things of the world in your hands. It takes a lot of work for you to have those things you want. Is that really what your heart desires.

Me: Honestly, I guess it is what I want in the short term. I have not figured out yet how to just desire You and let everything else fall into place. I know I run myself into the ground time and time again, and I want to give up on wanting “things,” but the desire is still there. There are so many cool things out there. It is really hard not to want. I have lived wanting my whole life. What is the cure?

God: The cure to wanting is having.

Me: You lost me.

God: How many children have you seen get what they want, and then they lose interest? Having what you want is the cure. And sooner or later, you will get what you want, and you will stop wanting it, and your heart will seek something else to want, and so on and so forth. So the cure is also the cause.

P: Well, that really isn't what I was asking, I mean, what stops the cycle?

God: If you are looking for the sunday school answer, you won’t hear it from Me. I want you to figure this one out in your mind, that’s what I gave you a mind for, son. You tell me what the cure is.

Me: Well, Your word says seek first the kingdom, and all else will be given unto “me.” I suppose seeking hard after the kingdom. But I still have not figured out what the “kingdom” much less seeking it out looks like practically, on a day to day basis. Sure, I understand praying, meditating, talking to You is all part of it. But I still have a hard time figuring the “kingdom” into the equation. Furthermore, I don’t really understand what “all else” really is. I guess it covers the real deep desires of our hearts. But I don’t really get this scripture. I feel like I have been seeking You for the last several years, HARD, and sometimes the financial whole I get myself into seems never-ending, and that affects me practically every day. So, the evidence of both sides of this equation are not balanced. I am seeking you, but all else is not being “given” to me. I feel like I am supposed to work for it, at least that is what I have been taught or taught myself, and on the other hand, the more I work to get things, the bigger the whole I dig for myself. So, you tell me, what am I supposed to do to end this cycle?

God: Quite an impressive speech. Patrick, will new furniture, painted walls, a new floor, a new car for your wife, etc give you peace?

Me: It would be really nice to have, but I suppose it doesn’t give me the kind of peace You give me.

God: So why do you strive after it so much? Don’t you see the pattern of the little child wanting something new?

Me: I don’t know. I don’t know how to stop wanting things. I have lived for so long not having anything. I guess I have come to believe that I deserve to have all those things that I never got to have. I don’t know where I got that idea, but I can feel the anger inside of me that I don’t have anything, and I see all of the people I grew up with and went to school with, they all have good jobs and they all can support a family, and here I am trying to balance a budget with my wife’s income and a little extra I make working at a feed store. Is it really wrong for me to feel disappointed God? Because I sure feel like I have done nothing with my life sometimes. I wasted 10 years of it in a stupid pursuit and now I feel like I am just futzing around with a bag full of potential and nowhere to put it to good use.

God: Patrick, think about the lesson I taught you about creativity. What is the nature of it?

Me: Love, and where there is nothing to love, You create something lovely and an object of your affection.

God: Right. Take your “bag of potential” and apply it to those things where you see a lack of potential. That is the kingdom of God. When you do that, the kingdom comes, and all things are given to you, because all things are attracted to the kingdom. What is it right now that seems impossible to you?

Me: That I will ever make money enough for my wife to quit teaching and be the mother she wants to be, or that I will ever feel like I contribute anything worth your approval to this world. I just feel like a disappointing person, like a bet that lost. I guess wanting things is the shot in the arm that I use to keep going.

God: That is precisely what it is. A drug. Do not be a slave to that drug, son.
Patrick, I know it is sometimes hard for you to see the truth of who you are in the context of where you are and what your current circumstance is. But all things on the earth will pass away, so your current circumstance at its very worst, is temporary. I Am the truth of your life, and I Am the creator of your heart. I know the plans I have for you, which are beyond your cheapest lusts or your wildest dreams and imaginations. My son, keep seeking Me. Not so that you will get the things you want. Seek Me, because I am better than anything you could ever receive on earth. You have not begun to scratch the surface of the kingdom, and it is right at your fingertips. Keep seeking, boy, I created you to find it, to find Me.