Idols of the heart

Me: Lord, what idols do I have in my heart?

God: Your own “version” of happiness is not what it really looks like. I am your joy. Money is not, children are not, a nice car, a nice house etc. You are focused on what you do not have, not on ME. I will tell you the truth, and that is that if you keep your eyes on things to own, I will strip them from you to get your eyes back on me. Not because I want to punish you, but because I love you too much to let something get in the way. If I let you have only what you want, and those things are a hindrance, I would be giving you a curse, and that is not who I am.

If you want something, ask Me. I am not keeping you in your job to punish you. I am keeping you there to be a blessing to others who are also my children whom I love. Will you go around my will to get what you want? Will you deceive yourself in this way? Do you not know that my way is the best way? Don’t you think that I am taking care of any concerns you have? Do you still think I am absent?

Patrick, STAY with me. Quit distracting your mind. You bury yourself in zoning out to not think about worries, but you zone Me out with them. Bring them to Me and I will talk to you about them. I want you to be happy, of course. I love you. But your happiness depends on the extent to which you are wiling to surrender your earthly desires to the need for Me in your life. All things I give to you are life. I am giving you the opportunity to participate with me in the lives of two people who desperately need me. I can tell you, that I will prosper you. Do not think that I will give you a stone to eat.

Me: Lord, how do I not carry this burden? How am I supposed to deal with other people's stuff on a daily basis when that is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me?

God: Patrick, focus on Me. Find my heart for them. You do not have to like them, but you must love them. Only from My love will you do that effectively. Because they grate your nerves, you are especially effective with your prayers. When you pray from obedience to Love, you pray selflessly, and learn to agree with My will for them. I am asking you to participate. Many people see me as a church building, not a person. You know Me, and can talk for me. You can intercede for them. Help me.

Me: Lord, I have been so obstinate lately. I am sorry. I really am. I need help, though. What is keeping me rebellious about this?

God: For one, you are independent. You do not like being under a microscope, and that is understandable. You don’t want people to see what is there to be found. You are open and honest with many things that other people are not, but you have your secrets and you would like them to stay secret. If you would free yourself from these things, you would free yourself from the fear of exposure. Fully exposed is true freedom. When I am with you, there is nothing to wound you. Lust for earthly things is your second enemy.

Me: Lord, am I lazy?

God: Sometimes. Other times you work very hard for what you want, but the fruit is short lived. I do not call you to be a workaholic for the things you want. I want to bless you. I want you to ask Me for things. But if your focus is on earthly things, the enjoyment of them will always be short lived, because you will always want something more.

Me: Lord, I don’t know what I want, I am filling holes all the time. I do want you to occupy all of that space in me, but You seem like a lot of work too. How do I stop looking around at things to stuff into myself? How do I focus on You and you alone? How do I leave these things behind? How do I become dependent on You and your blessing? HOW HOW HOW?

God: Patrick, if you think of me as work, then you are praying to the wrong Jesus. If you think of me as your friend, your father, your brother, your lover...do you want to spend time with Me? Do you want to please Me? Do you want to do nice things for Me? Do you want to accommodate Me? How do you think of Me, and in turn, how does that change your attitude towards what I ask of you? Please don’t turn Me into a task master. Spend time with Me. Talk to Me, listen to Me, read My story. Look into My eyes. Put all other things away when you want to talk. Do not let your mind be distracted. Daydream with Me, and I will be that fullness you are looking for in your life. But if you are looking for a life that is not challenging at times, then you are out of luck, because it is challenging. The only thing I can say is that with Me, the challenge always has an answer. It just is not always your answer.

The other company may be a good opportunity, but it is not the right time for you to leave. I know you have a hard time with your situation. I promise you that you will not regret if you listen to me on this. Stick with Me.

Me: Lord, how will I generate business? Will you tell me how to do that? Will you show me?

God: What makes you go back to business? Is it the money?

Me: Yes, partly. But you know I also want to be good at what I do, and right now, I feel so spread out that I can’t really generate much. No, it is mostly money. I am really frustrated with all of this. I really need your help. Please help me not be so easily frustrated. Don’t you have a special grace for that?

God: Patrick, you are favored. You are favored. You are my favorite. I will help you. I want you to spend time every day asking Me on behalf of the business and those with whom you work. But I want you to focus mostly on them. Lift them up daily. I will lead you about what to pray for them. As for your frustration, that will leave when you begin to obey Me. Obedience is more like what I spoke to you about earlier, if you turn Me into a task master, it is a burdensome thing. But if you think of Me as your lover, then obedience is second nature. Meditate on how you think of Me. Find Me, don’t settle for a Big Boss Man in the sky. I am so much more than that. I love you Son. Thank you for coming to Me. I love to be with you. Its OK.