Me: Hi, Lord.
God: Patrick, I am proud of you.
Me: (incredulous) Why?
God: I love to watch your progress. Every father is proud when he sees his son trying to be like him.
Me: Well, I am trying. I feel like some times are more successful than others. Lord, I have been looking over some of my journaling, and I don't feel confident that they are from You. Take the one about You not being able to live without Your creation. That concerns and perplexes me, and I do not want to go any further in any kind of deception. Can You show me the truth?
God: Yes, Patrick, I can. Of course, I am the beginning and the end, and I created and was, therefore, before all things. But My nature is creative, just as I once showed you. My love is null without you and all creation. Just as I was before all things, I had to create out of love, because there was only Me.
Unless you can nullify time and see all eternity, you will not fully grasp this. You think linearly and cannot see the entirety of I AM. You will come to know Me, but today you only know what you can see of Me. There is no end to Me and that is impossible for you. Do not dwell on this, only know that I love you, and without My creation, I AM not.
Me: OK, I don't understand that at all, and it still bothers me, especially in the light of the new heaven and earth idea, everything passing away, etc. But it does not seem important for today, so I will try not to dwell on it.
What about the whole thing with Adam and Eve?
God: Patrick, a blind man does not know he is blind until he can see. Adam and Eve sinned, and were able to see themselves for the first time outside of My vision. They could discern their condition on their own.
Unless you care that you are naked, why do you need clothes? Adam and Eve were able to see themselves and their condition, having disobeyed Me. Until then, they had no reason to evaluate themselves. When they saw their own condition, they were ashamed of the condition that left them exposed to My wrath. Naked bodies are merely a metaphor for having left My covering. Notice who made clothing for them. I did. I covered them again in a way in which their new eyes could see.
Patrick, do not give up. I am here. Look into My eyes, and focus on My voice.
Me: I just keep getting the feeling that I am coming up with all of this myself. The last thing the world needs is another "christian" with so-called revelation. Lead me not into temptation, deliver me from evil. I want Your kingdom, Your truth, Your will, Your heaven on Earth.
God: Patrick, I am in you, you are on Earth. My kingdom, My truth, My will, My heaven are present within you. Don't forget that. Just hear what I say, and the truth will be according to My word, and you will not be led astray.
Me: OK, Lord. Help me focus.
I have a question. What does it mean for you to be perfectly strong when I am perfectly weak?
God: A man's strength often comes from his determination to perform a thing, or, having received results from an action, a man will trust in his ability to repeat and/or improve upon those results.
Man's strength is a counterfeit for what I created him for, which was to have dominion on the Earth in relationship with Me. The truth is, before sin entered the Earth, man had no need to exert his own strength. He simply had authority from Me, and all creation bowed to his authority. Adam handed over his authority to the enemy when he sinned, and man began moving in his own strength when he tried to re-exert his authority.
So, now, in your flesh, you want to exert strength to accomplish or perform, whereas by My Spirit you have been given authority. However, wielding My authority requires full submission to My Spirit. My Spirit does not respond to strength, but meekness and humility.
My authority was re-established on Earth by an act of humility and submission. Sin entered as an act of acquiring "strength" outside of God. My authority is contradictory to man's self-will.
In the Old Testament, My prophets were killed because of this. Those warriors on whom My Spirit rested were mighty in battle. My authority requires submission to My Spirit, otherwise a man is rebelling against Me, even if his objective aligns with Mine. But, in Me, a man can do all things, so why do so out of Me?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Mistakes vs. Sin
Me: Jesus, I am not sure what to think about You saying "I love you." Can you help me?
God: Patrick, this is not a test. I merely want to get you to a point of understanding what My love does in a person.
Me: Well, I know that Your love is life, that it is the source of all good things, that without it, I would be dead by now, physically and/or spiritually.
God: Don't forget that it is not a tap that you can turn on and off. I love you, always and forever from the beginning to the end.. Yes, it is the source, I AM. So, why do you harbor doubt in your heart? Do you need more convincing about who I AM? I know you believe that I am good, but you doubt that I will be a good father to you, you doubt My goodness in your own life. Why would that be?
Me: Because I feel like Your goodness gets wasted on someone like me, who is undeserving of Your forgiveness over and over. I keep making mistakes and feel like You get tired of me sticking my foot in "it."
God: Am I limited in love? Look into My eyes and look to see if there is an end to My grace. Grace is My gift, which is given not based on your merit, but based on the amount of love I have for you. If one does not have an end, how can the other?
Patrick, of course you will make mistakes, colossal in your own eyes, but colossal victories for My love. Mistakes are merely exposed areas for Me to cover with My love. Do not hide from Me, so that I will cover you always.
Me: Lord, why do we hide? Adam and Eve hid because they were naked. What does that mean?
God: They were naked before, but their mistake made them look at themselves, and knowing right from wrong, they saw that they were unprotected, vulnerable to Me for having broken trust. Nakedness was not the sin, sin was the point in them which made them unable to face Me, they had stepped out of My grace, and were now naked in their own eyes.
You do the same thing when you hide from Me. You can always come to Me and My grace will be a covering for your sin. Do not hide because you have broken trust and know it. Knowing you have sinned, flee to Me. In your mistakes I will teach you and discipline you to have strength against the deceiver. As you become more like Me, you will embrace this process, and at the same time, the process will be less of your daily life.
You will become a man who sees what I do and will do the same, and hears what I say and say it.
Me: That will take a long time, don't You think?
God: We have all of eternity.
Me: I keep forgetting that.
God: It's OK, I will keep reminding you.
Me: Lord, when you were a child, did you know who You were?
God: I knew My Father. He taught Me just as I am teaching you. Even as I was teaching others, I learned. I also had to grow in wisdom and favor. I did not sin, but I did make mistakes as a child. From them, I learned.
Me: What kind of mistakes did You make?
God: Disregard for my parents' emotions, of course I was in the synagogue, but I had forgotten to tell them where I was.
Me: Lord, am I making this up?
God: Patrick, mistakes are many. Sin is different. Sin comes from the heart and is blatant disregard for My (spoken) Word. You will make mistakes in sin and out of it. Do not concern yourself with not making mistakes, they will happen. Concern yourself with resisting the temptation to sin. The more you are with Me, the more time you spend with Me, the easier to resist sin will be. For this reason, do not hide yourself in shame, but come to Me freely without stopping. Flee to Me and I will cover you.
God: Patrick, this is not a test. I merely want to get you to a point of understanding what My love does in a person.
Me: Well, I know that Your love is life, that it is the source of all good things, that without it, I would be dead by now, physically and/or spiritually.
God: Don't forget that it is not a tap that you can turn on and off. I love you, always and forever from the beginning to the end.. Yes, it is the source, I AM. So, why do you harbor doubt in your heart? Do you need more convincing about who I AM? I know you believe that I am good, but you doubt that I will be a good father to you, you doubt My goodness in your own life. Why would that be?
Me: Because I feel like Your goodness gets wasted on someone like me, who is undeserving of Your forgiveness over and over. I keep making mistakes and feel like You get tired of me sticking my foot in "it."
God: Am I limited in love? Look into My eyes and look to see if there is an end to My grace. Grace is My gift, which is given not based on your merit, but based on the amount of love I have for you. If one does not have an end, how can the other?
Patrick, of course you will make mistakes, colossal in your own eyes, but colossal victories for My love. Mistakes are merely exposed areas for Me to cover with My love. Do not hide from Me, so that I will cover you always.
Me: Lord, why do we hide? Adam and Eve hid because they were naked. What does that mean?
God: They were naked before, but their mistake made them look at themselves, and knowing right from wrong, they saw that they were unprotected, vulnerable to Me for having broken trust. Nakedness was not the sin, sin was the point in them which made them unable to face Me, they had stepped out of My grace, and were now naked in their own eyes.
You do the same thing when you hide from Me. You can always come to Me and My grace will be a covering for your sin. Do not hide because you have broken trust and know it. Knowing you have sinned, flee to Me. In your mistakes I will teach you and discipline you to have strength against the deceiver. As you become more like Me, you will embrace this process, and at the same time, the process will be less of your daily life.
You will become a man who sees what I do and will do the same, and hears what I say and say it.
Me: That will take a long time, don't You think?
God: We have all of eternity.
Me: I keep forgetting that.
God: It's OK, I will keep reminding you.
Me: Lord, when you were a child, did you know who You were?
God: I knew My Father. He taught Me just as I am teaching you. Even as I was teaching others, I learned. I also had to grow in wisdom and favor. I did not sin, but I did make mistakes as a child. From them, I learned.
Me: What kind of mistakes did You make?
God: Disregard for my parents' emotions, of course I was in the synagogue, but I had forgotten to tell them where I was.
Me: Lord, am I making this up?
God: Patrick, mistakes are many. Sin is different. Sin comes from the heart and is blatant disregard for My (spoken) Word. You will make mistakes in sin and out of it. Do not concern yourself with not making mistakes, they will happen. Concern yourself with resisting the temptation to sin. The more you are with Me, the more time you spend with Me, the easier to resist sin will be. For this reason, do not hide yourself in shame, but come to Me freely without stopping. Flee to Me and I will cover you.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Stay awake
I see you out in a park
And there were many leaves blowing, but this one particular
Leaf seemed to take on a life of its own
And you began to follow it
It was separate from the pack of leaves
And see life situations and circumstances has led you apart
I see you being led to walk a singular path
A time of reflection, time of deep prayer
God is calling you aside so He can speak with you
Outside the walls of life
Where things get busy
Distractions cry out
You will begin to feel a greater pulling of your spirit to separate yourself from others
God wants to touch you in this place
And give you instructions for the next phase of which is to come
Me: Lord, what about the word I got, what are the leaves?
God: They are endless possibilities all being pushed and moved by the Holy Spirit. The one you choose is up to you.
Me: Lord, I want to choose the one that draws me closest to You. I want to write, I want to spend time with You and go deep with You.
God: OK, Patrick. You must discipline yourself. Stay awake, and do not fall asleep.
Me: What do you mean?
(interrupted)
God: Keep your mind alert, your ears listening to My voice, do not let a spirit of slumber overtake you. You will be faced with laziness, slumbering, letting your mind take a vacation from your task at hand, which is to focus on Me, and stay with Me in a place of learning. Yes, you are already facing it. Your best strategy to overcome it is to journal with me regularly. Do not settle with once every other day or once in the morning alone. Listen for my call to sit with Me, and get your journal out, and sit with Me.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Staying focused
God: Patrick, read My word. It is time. What better resource for you to begin your writing career than by digging into My word. I have given you a wonderful way of seeing the written word, and it will be a part of the uniqueness behind what you write.
So, Lord, should I become a writer full time, or should I take a part time job?
God: Patrick, stay focused on Me. What is the benefit of your writing? Paying bills or doing what is in your heart to do, which is to love Me, spread My kingdom, and have the joy you have been looking for?
Me: Well, right now, my concern is not putting a burden on my wife as the sole income earner. Of course, I want to do what is in my heart, but that seems such a far-off thing, and what keeps coming to my mind is what I can see, which is a monthly budget that has been cut in half.
God: Remember what I told you. Trust Me with your finances. Write, and bury yourself in My word. What qualifies you for your calling is not winning contests or getting published or making a living, but My grace on your life. Every prophet felt unqualified for My call on their life. The point is not their achievements, but their obedience to My heart and My will.
I will provide for you and I will prepare you for your calling. I have placed you in a position where you will flourish in My calling for your life. Do it. Don't worry about the money aspect. I am life everlasting, I am blessing, I am your Father.
Me: Lord, will you pay our bills? Will You help me earn a living? Will you be the source?
God: Patrick, I love you. What does that mean to you?
Me: Lord, what about the books that I had an idea to write? Should I pursue that?
God: Is it in your heart to do that?
Me: I think so. I want to write about You, though. Would people buy a book about You and {that topic}?
God: I would.
Me: Ha! OK, Lord. What does it mean to You, when You say "I love you?"
God: Patrick, it means everything. Without you, I could not live.
Me: Whoa! I can't hear that. That is really hard...what do you mean?
God: Patrick, why do you think I did all of this? My relationship with you makes Me whole. yes, it is a part only, but I cannot live without all of the pieces.
Me: So you are saying that you predestined our relationship? And...
God: No, Patrick, that is not the point. I was killed so that our relationship could be whole and unrestricted. My earthly death was necessary to include you. I know your whole life, and I know the whole story. I will have victory in the end, because of my love for you and everyone. My love created, and it cannot exist without My creation.
Me: Lord, I am going to have to chew on this, because I don't know theologically how to handle it.
God: OK, chew. Let me know if you get anywhere with that. But do not forget to ponder what it means to you that I love you. there is a wealth of treasure to be found there.
So, Lord, should I become a writer full time, or should I take a part time job?
God: Patrick, stay focused on Me. What is the benefit of your writing? Paying bills or doing what is in your heart to do, which is to love Me, spread My kingdom, and have the joy you have been looking for?
Me: Well, right now, my concern is not putting a burden on my wife as the sole income earner. Of course, I want to do what is in my heart, but that seems such a far-off thing, and what keeps coming to my mind is what I can see, which is a monthly budget that has been cut in half.
God: Remember what I told you. Trust Me with your finances. Write, and bury yourself in My word. What qualifies you for your calling is not winning contests or getting published or making a living, but My grace on your life. Every prophet felt unqualified for My call on their life. The point is not their achievements, but their obedience to My heart and My will.
I will provide for you and I will prepare you for your calling. I have placed you in a position where you will flourish in My calling for your life. Do it. Don't worry about the money aspect. I am life everlasting, I am blessing, I am your Father.
Me: Lord, will you pay our bills? Will You help me earn a living? Will you be the source?
God: Patrick, I love you. What does that mean to you?
Me: Lord, what about the books that I had an idea to write? Should I pursue that?
God: Is it in your heart to do that?
Me: I think so. I want to write about You, though. Would people buy a book about You and {that topic}?
God: I would.
Me: Ha! OK, Lord. What does it mean to You, when You say "I love you?"
God: Patrick, it means everything. Without you, I could not live.
Me: Whoa! I can't hear that. That is really hard...what do you mean?
God: Patrick, why do you think I did all of this? My relationship with you makes Me whole. yes, it is a part only, but I cannot live without all of the pieces.
Me: So you are saying that you predestined our relationship? And...
God: No, Patrick, that is not the point. I was killed so that our relationship could be whole and unrestricted. My earthly death was necessary to include you. I know your whole life, and I know the whole story. I will have victory in the end, because of my love for you and everyone. My love created, and it cannot exist without My creation.
Me: Lord, I am going to have to chew on this, because I don't know theologically how to handle it.
God: OK, chew. Let me know if you get anywhere with that. But do not forget to ponder what it means to you that I love you. there is a wealth of treasure to be found there.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Speaking to my heart
Me: Heart, tell me what is in you. I would like to do what is in you to do, but I need help knowing what you want.
Heart: Love God.
Me: That is a little vague. Do you have anything specific?
Heart: that is pretty specific, actually. The manifestation of loving God has endless possibilities. The sky is not even the limit. You can do all things.
Me: OK, but what specifically?
Heart: You want to spread His love on the Earth. You want to see His Kingdom come, and you want joy.
Me: How can I spread His love? Will that bring me joy?
Heart: You spread His love by being you. You are full of it, and cannot contain it. He is joy, He is peace, He is life everlasting.
Me: (frustrated) So, please help me. How can I employ this desire? What job, or what career can I do to use this?
Heart: Anything you choose to do does not change who you are. Choose. The possibilities are endless.
Me: So, it is a question of putting my talent to work?
Heart: Patrick, you are avoiding the real question. You are asking me how you should make money. Anything you choose will give you opportunity to tap into your heart, which is to love God and have joy.
Me: OK, what should I do with my life, then? How should I make money?
Heart: Choose.
Heart: Love God.
Me: That is a little vague. Do you have anything specific?
Heart: that is pretty specific, actually. The manifestation of loving God has endless possibilities. The sky is not even the limit. You can do all things.
Me: OK, but what specifically?
Heart: You want to spread His love on the Earth. You want to see His Kingdom come, and you want joy.
Me: How can I spread His love? Will that bring me joy?
Heart: You spread His love by being you. You are full of it, and cannot contain it. He is joy, He is peace, He is life everlasting.
Me: (frustrated) So, please help me. How can I employ this desire? What job, or what career can I do to use this?
Heart: Anything you choose to do does not change who you are. Choose. The possibilities are endless.
Me: So, it is a question of putting my talent to work?
Heart: Patrick, you are avoiding the real question. You are asking me how you should make money. Anything you choose will give you opportunity to tap into your heart, which is to love God and have joy.
Me: OK, what should I do with my life, then? How should I make money?
Heart: Choose.
Tricked into a blessing
Me: Good morning, Lord. It is hard for me to find You this morning. I feel like You have tricked me. (for telling me to stay in a job from which I was fired the next day)
God: In a sense, I did. But not to laugh at you, not to ridicule you, not to shame you. I tricked you into a blessing. You learned a lesson and I answered the desire of you heart at the same time. What, then, is it about this that bothers you?
Me: I didn't expect it.
God: Ha! I will never be predictable. Patrick, when I was with the disciples, I constantly blew their minds with My words and actions. It is so wonderful to watch as mindsets are shattered. It isn't until you mind is totally unrestrained that all things become possible.
Patrick, you were going to ask Me this morning about what you were born to do. You were born to dream. Yes, you have a talent for developing ideas, but I created You to dream new and bigger ideas.
Why did I give you such a heart level revelation about the creative power in My love? Because it is your destiny to walk in that power. Now, join the creative power of my Love with the eternal perspective that you are learning to have. You are created to do great things. You aren't there yet, but you are well on your way.
Me: That's a little hard to swallow right now, Lord. But, I will receive it as well as I know how.
God: Ha! Don't think of My word over you today as something you must swallow before it becomes true. the truth of My word is what forms you, not you swallowing or digesting it. It will be done.
Me: Thank You, Lord. As for now, what shall I do? The prospect of returning to the office furniture industry is not that exciting to me. You have asked me several times, "What do you want?" I honestly do not know how to answer. You have told me to dig, and I do not know what digging in my heart looks like. What can You tell me about that?
God: Patrick, read your journals. You are an adventuring captain, something I have confirmed to you outside of this journal on more than one occasion. And, yes, you have a calling to pastor people. You have administrative talent, relational talent, teaching talent. Do you want to use these talents? Then go risk them in the marketplace and watch Me increase them.
Me: What do you mean, Lord?
God: Patrick, I mean that I am not giving you a specific mandate as far as your employment is concerned. I want you to consider what you want, how you want to use the talents I hae given you, and then use them however you see fit. I will increase them, Patrick. This is not a "test," rather it is your opportunity to co-create with Me. Patrick, your heart is revealing to you all the time what it does and doesn't want. Listen to it by quieting your mind and letting your heart speak.
Me: What does it sound like, Lord?
God: It sounds like Me, because it is where I live.
God: In a sense, I did. But not to laugh at you, not to ridicule you, not to shame you. I tricked you into a blessing. You learned a lesson and I answered the desire of you heart at the same time. What, then, is it about this that bothers you?
Me: I didn't expect it.
God: Ha! I will never be predictable. Patrick, when I was with the disciples, I constantly blew their minds with My words and actions. It is so wonderful to watch as mindsets are shattered. It isn't until you mind is totally unrestrained that all things become possible.
Patrick, you were going to ask Me this morning about what you were born to do. You were born to dream. Yes, you have a talent for developing ideas, but I created You to dream new and bigger ideas.
Why did I give you such a heart level revelation about the creative power in My love? Because it is your destiny to walk in that power. Now, join the creative power of my Love with the eternal perspective that you are learning to have. You are created to do great things. You aren't there yet, but you are well on your way.
Me: That's a little hard to swallow right now, Lord. But, I will receive it as well as I know how.
God: Ha! Don't think of My word over you today as something you must swallow before it becomes true. the truth of My word is what forms you, not you swallowing or digesting it. It will be done.
Me: Thank You, Lord. As for now, what shall I do? The prospect of returning to the office furniture industry is not that exciting to me. You have asked me several times, "What do you want?" I honestly do not know how to answer. You have told me to dig, and I do not know what digging in my heart looks like. What can You tell me about that?
God: Patrick, read your journals. You are an adventuring captain, something I have confirmed to you outside of this journal on more than one occasion. And, yes, you have a calling to pastor people. You have administrative talent, relational talent, teaching talent. Do you want to use these talents? Then go risk them in the marketplace and watch Me increase them.
Me: What do you mean, Lord?
God: Patrick, I mean that I am not giving you a specific mandate as far as your employment is concerned. I want you to consider what you want, how you want to use the talents I hae given you, and then use them however you see fit. I will increase them, Patrick. This is not a "test," rather it is your opportunity to co-create with Me. Patrick, your heart is revealing to you all the time what it does and doesn't want. Listen to it by quieting your mind and letting your heart speak.
Me: What does it sound like, Lord?
God: It sounds like Me, because it is where I live.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Reunion of Creator and Creation
Me: Good morning, Lord. What are you doing way up there? (The Lord was above the earth looking down)
God: Just hanging out. Come with Me, I want to show you something.
Me: Lord, what are you showing me? All I keep seeing is the Earth. Help me, I do not know what I am seeing.
God: I love it (the Earth). My heart groans to be reunited permanently with the creation. But, my reunion with it depends on the Church. See the shadow over the whole Earth? That will change. My people will fill it with My light. On that day, the Earth will be finished, and the new heavens and Earth will be complete.
Me: Lord, this is all really heavy. Why are You showing this to me now?
God: Patrick, what is your purpose? Do you think you are merely here to go to work during the week, go to church on Sundays, and have a normal life, with the possibility of blessing a few people here and there?
You hunger for truth. You hunger for the deep mystery. You want to know the reality of Me and your role. Just as I said to Peter, feed My sheep. Yes, I have filled you with life changing words. These words are light and life, because I will give them to you.
The prophets of old spoke to a people who would not receive. You will speak to a fertile people who will receive the word and honor Me. My people are waiting to hear a real word, they will know My voice.
Me: I am not really comfortable with what I am writing, Lord.
God: That's not My problem. None of this is new to you. But do not get concerned, I will confirm all of this to you in due time. Just know, Patrick, that it is good for you to fill your heart with the Word. The more you are filled, the more of it you will propagate.
God: Just hanging out. Come with Me, I want to show you something.
Me: Lord, what are you showing me? All I keep seeing is the Earth. Help me, I do not know what I am seeing.
God: I love it (the Earth). My heart groans to be reunited permanently with the creation. But, my reunion with it depends on the Church. See the shadow over the whole Earth? That will change. My people will fill it with My light. On that day, the Earth will be finished, and the new heavens and Earth will be complete.
Me: Lord, this is all really heavy. Why are You showing this to me now?
God: Patrick, what is your purpose? Do you think you are merely here to go to work during the week, go to church on Sundays, and have a normal life, with the possibility of blessing a few people here and there?
You hunger for truth. You hunger for the deep mystery. You want to know the reality of Me and your role. Just as I said to Peter, feed My sheep. Yes, I have filled you with life changing words. These words are light and life, because I will give them to you.
The prophets of old spoke to a people who would not receive. You will speak to a fertile people who will receive the word and honor Me. My people are waiting to hear a real word, they will know My voice.
Me: I am not really comfortable with what I am writing, Lord.
God: That's not My problem. None of this is new to you. But do not get concerned, I will confirm all of this to you in due time. Just know, Patrick, that it is good for you to fill your heart with the Word. The more you are filled, the more of it you will propagate.
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